Confession and Consequence
by jarjarjinx
Summary: In a lapse of judgement, Jeffrey confesses his feelings for Skye, starting the train wreck that we know today as Skyffrey. Set when Skye and Jeffrey are sixteen. Angst and feels. Reviews are greatly appreciated.


Jeffrey's fingers meandered absent-mindedly over the piano keys, filling the fire-lit room with music. It was nearly midnight, and all the Penderwicks were asleep, so he played softly. He had laid in bed, tossing and turning for an hour, when he finally gave up and escaped to the piano. Still, Jeffrey couldn't get her out of his head. He had realized his true feelings for Skye over a year ago, and his adoration of her was just as fervent as it was that day. He fought a fierce battle every second he spent around her. His emotions scorched inside his chest, longing to confess, while his reason struggled to quell the fire. Today had been especially difficult. They had gone on a walk together, alone, through Quigley Woods, stomping in leaf piles and enjoying the cool fall breeze. The trees burned the same color as his heart.

"Hey."

Jumping at the voice, Jeffrey's hands flew off the keys. Skye stood in the hallway, wearing pajamas. His heart skipped, and the bittersweet ache returned.

"Hey," he answered. "Did I wake you?"

She yawned loudly. "No, Asimov did. The beast jumped on Jane's bookshelf and caused an avalanche."

Jeffrey smiled. "Did she wake up?"

"She who sleeps harder than a rock? No chance."

Chuckling, Jeffrey resumed his music. He found himself playing a mellow, jazzy love song, despite his better judgement. Skye shuffled over and sat next to him, leaning into his shoulder ever so slightly. At the contact, he struck a high note louder than intended. When he finished the tune, he started another, a piece from a movie he had seen. It had a delicate melody and a surging harmony, and it was one of his favorites. Skye loved to hear it, even though she hadn't liked the film. She loved listening to Jeffrey no matter what he played. As he performed, Jeffrey's mind wandered, his thoughts filled with the girl beside him. How their knees and hips and shoulders touched, how amazing she looked even with bed head. His fingers began to dash over random notes, his mind too occupied to focus.

Years afterward he still didn't know why he said it. It could have been the tiredness, or a temporary madness, but there was no telling for sure.

"Skye," he said, hardly conscious of the words falling out of his mouth. His fingers fell still. "I think I'm in love with you."

The girl's stomach dropped like a stone. Never had such wonderful words sounded so horrible.

"What?" she whispered, voice shaky and hoarse.

Jeffrey blushed and played a spurt of notes. "I'm in love with you."

Skye jumped off the bench in shock, heart beating faster, cheeks flushing. "Are you crazy?"

Jeffrey swallowed. "Probably."

"I don't—I…" she gripped the side of the piano to stay upright. Once her knees stopped shaking, she loosed her grip but didn't let go. "You can't. You can't be…" she trailed off, unable to say the awful words.

After a few seconds of hesitation, he said, "But I am. I am in love with you, Skye Penderwick."

"Stop saying that."

Determined to convince her of the truth, the boy looked up at her pale face. "Listen to me, Skye. I don't fully understand it either. All I know is that I've felt like this from the beginning, whether I realized it then or not. I feel a rush every time I see you or think of you. It's something beautiful, Skye, and I can't hide it anymore."

His words washed over her like a cold, drowning wave.

"I know you don't accept it," he continued. "I know you think I'm nuts, and maybe I am, but I can't lie to you anymore. I can't hide behind our friendship and pretend I don't feel something more—"

"So our friendship isn't enough?"

"No, that's not—"

"Our friendship doesn't matter to you? You want to throw it all away because you get some delusion that you're in love with me?" She glared ferociously at Jeffrey, who stood his ground.

"I'm not throwing anything away. Our—"

"I've seen enough to know that relationships at our age never work. It's impossible. Our brains aren't fully formed yet, our hormones are raging out of control, we aren't thinking rationally—"

"Love isn't rational, Skye."

" _Shut up and listen to me_ ," she yelled, slamming her hand on the side of the piano. Jeffrey flinched at the noise and the tears in her blue eyes.

"Our friendship means more to me than anything in the world," Her voice was softer now. "You're like the brother I never had. The brother I always wanted." A single tear fell from her eyelashes, and she swiped it away. "I can't let you ruin that. Even if I did… feel something for you, if we got into a relationship, something would go wrong and someone would get hurt and we'd end up hating each other. I won't let that happen." A few more drops slid down her cheeks, leaving salty trails and dripping onto the piano strings. The silence echoed with the faint _plinks_ of high notes being struck with Skye's tears.

Taking a deep breath, Jeffrey dared to speak. "You think I would purposely destroy what we have? You think I don't care about our friendship? If I honestly thought the only way this could end is in destruction, then I wouldn't be telling you how I feel."

"Why _are_ you telling me?" Skye's anger returned. "We were doing just fine with you keeping it a secret. I didn't need to know, and you would have gotten over it eventually." The tears were gone now, replaced with a white-hot burn. This was his fault.

Incredulous, Jeffrey let out a short laugh. "Gotten over it? Were you not listening to me? I've felt like this from the beginning. You don't just get over something you've felt for years." He shook his head. "You won't understand, but I'm telling you all this because it's hell, Skye. It's hell keeping my feelings bottled up inside when I want to scream the truth from the rooftops. It's hell every time I have to restrain a look or a touch when all I want to do is lose myself in your beauty and kiss you until the stars fade. It's hell constantly worrying if I'm being too obvious, if you're catching on, if you're going to react like this." He gestured to the shaking mess before him. "I'd thought about telling you before, but by now I thought you'd be mature enough to accept it." Her head had been ducked, but now she glared up at him, her eyes flaming with emotion and tears. The redness made her irises look impossibly blue, and that made him falter. Sighing, he gave up his frustration and hung his head in defeat. "I thought maybe, just maybe, you'd feel something too."

Silence overtook them again, until Skye uttered two awful words, "I don't."

For Jeffrey, those words were a knife in the ribcage. Even though his better judgement had told him that his love was unrequited, he had foolishly allowed his hopes to run away with his reason. Now he realized what a mistake he had made, what an idiot he was. Oddly enough, no tears filled his eyes.

"Fine then," he said, voice broken. He rose calmly and walked out the door, heading for Quigley Woods. Skye watched him go, hoping that when he returned he would be the Jeffrey that crashed into her all those years ago, not the lovesick teenager that was breaking her heart.

* * *

Hello, everyone! Thanks so much for reading. Review and let me know what you think. I may continue this story, but if I do, it won't be for a while. Hipster4lyfe, thanks so much for reading this beforehand! From here on out my Skyffrey stories are dedicated to you ;) Until next fic, everyone! ~jarjarjinx


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